Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents – Isabel Wilkerson - In India, do we keep a separate plate, glass, spoon for our domestic-aid? If we still do, then YES, caste is deep-rooted in us. - Do we ask our domestic-aids to clean the ceiling- fans, the window-sills, the balcony-grills, the bathroom tiles, polish the brass & more to the long list of other regular chores? If we still do, then YES, the so-called Diwali “Bonus” we so flauntingly give, is then nothing but her rightful due for all that EXTRA work we make her do. - Do we still ask if that marriage of so & so was “INTER-CASTE”? “INTER-FAITH”? “INTER-CULTURAL”? & so on? Then YES, the caste is deep-rooted in us. - Do we talk about MERITOCRACY & fail to be cognizant of the damning SOCIAL REALITY in most parts of India, then YES, we are deeply IGNORANT of the systemic oppression that CASTE entails. - Do we (my south-Indian Tam-Bram friends) still make statements that the Dalit oppression is only in some “northern” little towns & not a REAL THING in the so-called progressive/cosmopolitan cities like Mumbai, Chennai, Bengaluru & more? – If YES, then again, we are rationalizing our already prejudiced thinking. - Do we still think that we are “pavam thayyar-sadam sappadraaa poor brahmins” who have nothing to do with perpetuating the hierarchy? – then YES, we are deeply IGNORANT of our deep-rooted casteism that still structures our thought process. We continue to internalize it unconsciously, for the assumptions of caste have been relatively & arbitrarily constant, invisible & nearly impossible to dislodge. To all the nay-sayers out there who are/were “deeply offended” by the “UNFAIR” comparison by Isabel Wilkerson’s book - Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents, I strongly urge you as a THOUGHT EXPERIMENT to read this book in its ENTIRETY to then discuss & think on the issues raised by this book. For me personally, the unsettling interconnections/comparisons between India’s caste system, the Nazi’s systematic persecution of Jews, the America’s treatment of African-Americans (slavery to abolition of slavery to civil-wars to current continued structural systemic oppression) have been an eye-opener. Wilkerson asks simple but very pertinent questions like: 1) How Hierarchy reproduces itself? (natural/divinely ordained? Heritability of status? Controls on marriage & sexuality across caste lines? Caste-based occupational hierarchy? Terror & violence as a means of its enforcement?) 2) What are its origins? How are they sustained? What are the far-reaching effects of its “tentacles”? 3) Ultimately, what’s the role of personal responsibility? Our personal accountability? Do we perpetuate it? Do we eradicate it? The most important take-away from this book is that of RECOGNITION. The RECOGNITION that this system has & continues to create human divisions. This RECOGNITION is absolutely important, if we have to TRULY move towards making a change & in moving towards a hopeful COMMON HUMANITY.

Love You, Daddy

You scooped that sharp edge,cupping it with your hands, of the garden bench…

So that, I, Your little one, don’t ever hurt my head…

You soothed away fears, when I dreamt of spirits with a transfigured face…

Clawed-toothed-big-nailed monsters clambering over my imagination’s infinite space…



You made me walk in the dark, so that I’m never mortified by it again,

for you always said, ’’Do the thing you fear the most, and the death of fear is certain…’’

You made me climb and touch the peak of the children’s park Rocket-tree,

To drive away the acrophobia that was creeping in me…



You taught me to ride a bicycle, and made me soar down the hilly-slope of the one-way street…

You taught me to swim in those sweet-green springs of Indrali with those harmless green water-snakes cutting water so neat..



We sat and sang our way

By the green margin of a stream

Watching fishes leap and play

Beneath the glad sun-beam…



Our family moped rides, me seated front, with the speedy thrill, wind against my face…

You trusted in me and let me accelerate (once in a while) to teach me the safe-set pace…



Despite revolts, rebellions,adolescent crisis, heart-felt deceptions or Math’s paralyzing fears or rocky financial crunches, you always put me in the best of schools, got me the best of books….

Your steady baritone voice...

treks,treasure-hunts,morning-moped jogs, long beaches, soulful talks…

You just always know what I mean,

Even before I speak ….

You always read well ‘’in-between’’…



Your strength, your integrity, your endurance to deal with life’s nitty-gritty’s

Your wisdom, a guiding force, has taught me to balance my priorities, to never sherk my responsibilities…

For you always said, ‘’When the going gets tough, it’s only the tough who get going’’….



Forgetful of the highways rough…

Forgetful of the thorny scourge…

Forgetful of the tossing surge…

Of off-beaten career chosen or of linguistic choices affirmation,

You stood by me and said, ‘’Do the thing you love the most and love the most the thing you do..’’



My heart is as a freeborn bird

That flutters, flutters evermore…

My soul is as a hidden found, shut in by clamming clay struggling striving to force its way…

Up through the turf, over the grass, up, up in to the day, when twilight no more turneth grey…



Life’s full of numbness and of balk, of haltingness and baffled short-comings, of promises unfulfilled, of everything, that is puffed vanity and empty talk, wide vacuity of hope and heart…

But beyond the seas, we know stretch the seas unknown

Beyond lands we see, stretch lands unseen

We live in wearied hope, we die in hope not dead, we run a race…

Today, and find no present halting-place…



When I was young I deemed that sweets are sweet

But now I deem some searching bitters are sweeter than sweets,

And more refreshing far, and to be relished more, and more desired and more to be pursued on eager feet –

on feet untiring my every marching fleet…



You taught me that a bird must leave the nest and fly

That in time, I would leave and soar towards the sky

It is your love and guidance that reinforces my wings

You lift me before I soar towards life’s greatest things



There’s a special bond

That’s meant for you alone

There’s a special place in my heart

That ‘’you, my Daddy Dearest, alone can own..!!’’

Woo-men

PMS, Emotions, Hormones

Ticking bio-clocks

Unsettling menopause

We hone different hats

We come with different skill-sets

We juggle, we multitask

Cook, wife,mother,daughter,friend,chauffeur,referee,judge,house-keeper,primary grocery getter, laundry cleaner, pet –feeder…

Unsabaticaled, un re’’tiring’’ unaccounted for the myriad unpaid thankless jobs..!



Eyebrows threaded

Nose-hair tweezed

One by one done and hachooo goes the sneeze

Pimples plucked and black-heads squeezed

Arms, legs, woefully waxed clean

Hair – colored, streaked, bonded, straightened, ironed, curled, lengthened, and shortened

As goes the whims of the ‘’In-fashion’’ season…!



Anti-wrinkled, age-defying, cellulite-spot reduction, bleaches and creams

Feminine tunic patterns, lurid shades, palette – lip-eye-nail

Fake lashes, nails, fairness face paints

Formulations, foundations, compacts, blush, lipsticks, liners

Stilettos, wedges, strappy sandals, red killer dresses, tummy-tucks, facelifts, Botox = constant touchups

Shimmery shiny lip gloss, followed by a constant reminder to brush and floss…



The lingerie collection should be intriguing, ‘’enamor’’ing…

Laces, frills, stripes, spots to keep you guessing…

We have to accentuate and accessorize to spruce up the spark, to keep the fire burning …

Art of being subtly suggestive without being explicitly excessive

Just the right neck-plunge-line to let your imagination run wild and to not showcase a ''straight in nose-dive''..



No delightful brownies or the sinful choco-chip cookies

No midnight munches

Just a zero-carb diet and a 100 odd crunches..

What not for those enviable curves, that hour-glass figure, ‘’damn’’ how easily do we pile on those extra unwanted inches??



We come in all creeds, all colors…

You tell us ‘’you are pretty’’ and we swear ‘’we aren’t’’

But you dare to agree and poof goes your chances Honey

‘’Do I look fat in this’’ is just a rhetorical question never meant to be answered in affirmative!



We could plague you, vex you, distract you, perplex you, unsettle you, change you, ‘’altar’’ you…

We most times have spiky hair for we ‘’shave’’ our legs…

or don't have any public corner stone or ''against the tree-wall pee-spot territory''..

But we can empty your wallets, justify any shopping spree without ever feeling guilty!

We don’t drive in circles at any cost and have no problem admitting when we are truly lost…

We don’t watch movies with incessant bombardments and lots of gore..

We may cry for no ‘’apparent’’ reason but we certainly don’t need instant ‘’Replay’’ to remember the score..!



Dear Men, Flowers are okay but jewels are best…

And we would sincerely appreciate if you spoke to our faces rather than our breasts..!



You could like us in rain or in sunshine

After a peg of whisky or a heady wine

We could just simply ignore you or could just let you pine!



We come in all shapes and sizes =narrow-broad-wide

Button-nosed or almond eyed

Dark-light

Dowdy-bling

Distant-fragrant

Demure-homespun

A right blend of coyness and extroversion, of adventure and caution

In shorts, skirts, sexy, perky or clad in saree blushingly coy

Well-bred or uncommon…



But we are more than skin

More than color

More than pounds of flesh designated as ‘’ASSets’’...



Here we come Dear Men, our mission to woo men

Albeit being humble Mortals , Treat us right with respect for we are women with ''substance''…!